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Time Out New York

 

"Dark Secrets"
Combining sex and chocolate can get messy for a novice. An expert shows TONY the sweetest moves.
By Reed Tucker

July 17-24, 2003 - Cover Story; Page 40

 

Edible Ben-Wa balls, I've lived on this earth for 29 years and had never once heard those words strung together - until last month, when I attended an R-rated seminar that promised to teach students how to "take their chocolate experience to new sexual heights." The program is part of Metro Event Planners' Sensual Connections Series; this particular class was taught by Clay Gordan, who runs a chocolate company called Pureorigin and has traveled the world studying cocoa.

The connection between chocolate and luvin' is nothing new. The Aztec emperor Montezuma supposedly drank cocoat before wandering into his harem. The Marquis de Sade wrote extensively about the food's erotic powers, Casanova was a fan, and in the 18th century, chocolate was often flavored with cantharis, a.k.a. Spanish fly. But Gordan - standing in front of a dozen couples at Chelsea's Kanvas lounge - explains that chocolate isn't quite the powerful aprodisiac it's made out to be. It is a psychoactive food - that is, it affects the brain with chemicals such as America's favorite stimulant, caffeine, as well as theobromine, which monkeys with your noggin's serotonin. But although chocolate has the chemical makeup to make you feel better, it doesn't necessarily make you feel randy.

According to Gordan, if you're ready to get it on after eating a chocolate bar, this is probably the result of savvy marketing on the part of the chocolate makers. They push the candy as a romantic, and erotic, gift during the holidays. "A significant portion of all chocolate produced gets consumed during a very short period of time - from Christmas to Valentine's Day," he says.

Just as we were wondering why we'd come, Gordan got to the good stuff; Chemicals aside, you can effectively use chocolate in an erotic way, because of its sexy properties. The biggest turn-on is what Gordan calls "mouth feel." Much of the fat in chocolate is cocoa butter, which melts at a relatively low temperature - as luck would have it, right around body temperature - giving chocolate its fabulous silky texture. As one famous candy maker summed it up, "It melts in your mouth" (though if it's quality stuff, it should also make your hands messy).

If you're daring - or if you happen to own rubber sheets – Gordan suggests plenty of ways to desecrate the wholesome Hershey name. He came to the seminar armed with a bagful of edible tools, including chocolate cigars (we can only guess what Bill Clinton would have done with them), spicy chocolate-covered nuts, body frosting, a block of pure chocolate cut into the shape of a bar of soap and normal, everyday truffles, which Gordan suggested putting in some creative places. Hence his "edible Ben-Wa balls" comment, which led one student to sarcastically ask if "Snickers really satisfies." Gordan then trotted out a host of products and shyly explained how one might go about using them. He held up a tin of spicy chocolate-covered pecans made by a small company in Seattle called Fran's Chocolates. The candy contains cayenne pepper, which Gordan explained gives a nice tingle when it comes into contact with one's lower regions. (If your curiousity has been piqued, turn to "Hotter chocolate," opposite; we'll hold your hand and guide you through what to buy and what to do.)

Event organizer Blaire Allison says more seminars are planned for the fall. In the meantime, we've singled out some products that could be put to dirty uses. If you're prudish - or worried that such behavior could get you a ticket in Bloomberg's new New York - better stick to just eating.

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The next seminar will take place in early September.
For information, call 888-893-8368 or visit www.metroplanners.com


 

      

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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