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 Salon.com - August 17, 2006
Hold the cucumber like so ...
Women's eNews reports on the growing popularity of "sex skill" courses for
North American women, which eNews attributes to "either a sign of greater sexual
freedom or a new emphasis on service." We're no longer talking about wholesome
pole-dancing or aerobic striptease classes but more along the lines of seminars
in oral sex. Unsurprisingly, these classes teach fellatio-specific skills, and
at least anecdotally, all seem to be populated by women.
Ian Christiansen has 12 women in their 20s to 50s enrolled in his oral sex
class. He charges $40, which should cover the cost of the chilled cucumbers used
as models. At the end of the class, writes eNews, he reminds the participants
that they "are in control. It's pretty much in your hands, literally." The
article does not offer any real figures on this "growing trend," such as how
many women nationally enroll in courses like Christiansen's, but Metro Event
Planners in New York, which offers oral sex courses, has signed up more than 500
women since it began offering such classes a few years ago.
Explaining the logic behind the course, Blaire Allison, who owns Metro Event,
says, "there is some fear with being unskilled in sex. This fear has always been
there, but now women are like, 'Let's team up and help each other out.'" Allison
believes that the participants come away from these courses with more sexual
confidence than before. But Hilda Hutcherson, a sex columnist for Glamour and
Essence magazines, does not think that courses in oral sex can necessarily be
couched in the language of empowerment. "Women are seeking more to please than
to be pleased," she told eNews, and "we are in many ways returning to the
environment before the women's movement."
Ted McIlvenna, founder and president of the San Francisco-based Institute for
the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, thinks it is more complicated than that.
His feeling is that attendance in sexual technique courses is rising because
women want to have more control over what they do in bed. Yet, he acknowledged
that when interviewing female teens, most wanted to know "how to be a better
lay."
As much fun as it can be to debate fellatio and feminism across the
blogosphere, the politics of sexual pleasure are enmeshed with our specific
cultural values and personal experiences. Wanting to improve one's skills in bed
seems an understandable enough desire, but we hope the next article is about
courses for men in cunnilingus and finding the damn clit already.
-- Sarah Goldstein
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