How to Build a Network
Impress someone enough that they'd tell someone else about you

By Patricia Kitchen
STAFF WRITER

October 26, 2003

When you think about a job search, you may think right away of job boards and help-wanted ads. They're fine if you're in high demand or relish competing against hundreds of others.

But experts say the most effective job-hunt method is networking. That's finding and impressing people who can lead you to others - those in a position to hire you when an opening comes up. They're the "big kahunas," says Barry Miller, a counselor in Pace University's career center in lower Manhattan. It's about asking for information and further contacts - not "pumping people for jobs."

This calls for finesse - keeping your needs in mind without making others feel used or assaulted. And you can ease into it by first approaching those who will want to help: professors, friends of friends, even your dentist or manicurist. Some colleges have lists of alumni volunteers willing to help fellow graduates.

Start by calling, giving a brief pitch about yourself and interests and asking if they can spare 15 minutes, preferably in person, to share some guidance and information. (For sample questions, check out www.newsday.com/mon eyandcareers.)

And don't be cavalier. Before you speak, find out more about them: what they do, their role in the organization, special interests or memberships they may have, the kinds of people they might know whom you would like to meet.

Miller suggests carrying a "hit list" of target employers to show, asking which you should add or delete and why. Ask if they can refer you to people at those employers who might speak with you. And if they can, ask if you can say they referred you.

If the conversation unfolds as abruptly as above, the person will toss you out. That's why you have to learn "the Colombo approach," which Miller teaches his students. If you watch TV reruns of that old Peter Falk detective show, you'll see how he integrates small talk and questioning and in a casual, "oh, by the way" fashion, zeroes in on what he needs most.

Miller has even set up a three-part series on Schmoozing 101 for a student group he advises, Women in Corporate America. Last year they met with potential mentors and many students were lost as to what to say, says the group's treasurer, Svetlana Cakmur, 29, a senior finance major.

Some were intimidated, she says. Her goal now: learn how to "approach and keep people in conversation," as well as "extend the relationship."

That's especially valuable when you move on to networking with strangers - those you meet though your present contacts or at events and professional meetings.

A word of warning from Blaire Allison, president of Metro Event Planners, a Manhattan company holding a speed-networking event Nov. 5. (See www.metroplanners.com .)

Asking for jobs and passing out resumes is a "turnoff to people who would otherwise help you." It's all about making friends, first, she says.

But that doesn't mean you can't think strategically and put yourself in the path of those you want to meet. You need a "road map," says Denis Feldman, founder of M3P, a Long Island networking group.

Come with an idea of who might attend, ask at the door who is there from such-and-such company and make a point to cross paths.

Do you then ask if he or she has a job? No, you chitchat and then say, "Hey, I'm interested in learning more about what you do and asking for a little advice. Could I give you a call next week?" Indeed, Feldman says, "I never do business on the first date."

That's how it worked with Rebecca Rihn, 28, of Plainview, who started coming to M3P events last fall because she was looking to move from her job in the city.

After getting to know her, Feldman linked Rihn up in February with Sigma Staffing in Melville, where she's now an account executive. It's about relationship-building, not solicitation, Rihn says. (The event Nov. 12 features Po Bronson, author of "What Should I Do With My Life?" See www.m3p.net.)

To get a feel for this process, start by being helpful to others. Set up others with job search resources and see what it feels like, says Andrea Nierenberg of Manhattan, author of "Nonstop Networking" (Capital, $19.95) and a frequent speaker on college campuses. Her mantra: "Give first, and then get back."

Patricia Kitchen's weekly workplace column has moved to Tuesday's Business section for the duration of this series.